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The End of the Beginning...

I honestly do not know if I will ever be able to write for a living. At times it seems so enjoyable, and at other times it seems such a strain. I have read many texts on writing, and most of them talk of the sweat that is required. I do not know if it is because I do not believe them or if it is just me, but I always thought of writing as an outlet. The problem I run into is when I do not have something to release. I am usually able to write about what I have read. I guess it does not take much sweat and toil to give an opinion, but other times I just do not have the words. I wonder if it is my personality or my timidity or my lazy.
I hope this is only the end of the beginning of my blog. Life is busy, and I think if I do not put some things down in words, it will pass me bay without much reflection. I doubt that my blog will continue on a particular subject other than what passes for my thoughts, but it will be good to put "words to a page" so to speak.

Where does all the time go...

I was thinking about how quickly this semester has flown. I really do enjoy my classes. If I did not enjoy what I was taking at school, I would not be going back to school. I have a job that pays well and I could probably do it for another 23 years but I won't. I look forward to teaching English Comp classes one day. I am getting down to the end of my Bachelor's. I should finish either by next spring or the fall afterwards and then I will start working on my masters.
Sometimes, I wish it would slow down, so I could enjoy the experience more. There times when I would like to savor the classes. One such class has been Literary Criticism. Contemplating different modes of thinking about literature has been quite interesting. One concept, that an author is dead as soon as a work is complete, has been causing me to think reevaluate how I look at texts. Yes, there is never enough time.

Why Cavaren...

I know, the name or word Cavaren may seem strange. I came up with it one day when I logged into American Online for the first time. I did not want to be just “dbeck” or even worse, “dbeck<insert number here>”. I wanted to be a name. The only way it seems to be a name on the Internet is to come up with something new, hence “Cavaren.” It is the me that is only known on the Internet. One could even say it is the me that I chose over the me that was chosen for me. That is something the Internet offers over real life. We can be whom we chose over what might be chosen for us. Of course that leads to abuse and can be seen in the Dateline stings to capture pedophiles, but there times when it is just nice to live outside the expectations of everyday life. I think being Cavaren is what gave me the courage and determination to go back to school and get my degree in English. I have a job that many would love, but I do not love it. I find it mundane and boring even if it pays well. So here is to Cavaren, may he live long and well.

"When the bough breaks..."

Currently I am reading the prequel to the Dune entitle Dune: House Atreides. One of the aspects I find interesting in this series is that is tries to picture humanity a thousand centuries from now. The series has the human race governed by an emperor by his power is far from absolute. There are other entities that wield considerable power: the Spacing Guild who regulate interplanetary travel, the Bene Gesserit Sisterhood who a engaged in a breeding program to create a super being, and CHOAM who control the spice mélange which is vital to traveling through space.

It makes me ponder what the human race might be in one thousand centuries. Will we even make it that long? I do not think we can if we do not find a way to leave our planet. Living on one planet is like only having one pond for fish to live. If something happens to that pond, all the fish are gone. If something happens like what happened to the dinosaurs, humanity may not survive. I do think we have advantages that the dinosaurs did not have, mainly our intelligence that allows us to create tools to adapt, but there are some disasters that could be so complete, adaptation may not be an alternative. Humanity needs to leave the cradle, before the “bough breaks and the cradle falls.”

Waiting

This week has been a difficult one to write. Life has been hectic. The world seems to be on spin-dry with me flopping around like an old shirt. So I have waited and waited to think on a subject to write for this week’s blog. The subject was elusive till today. I started to contemplate waiting, sitting still and clearing my mind. It occurred to me that this is an activity. waning in our everyday life. The business of living consumes our moments, leaving us poorer. Without these moments of solitude, the simple pleasures pass us by. Looking at the sun as it descends in the sky, I wonder if I will think to notice the sky tomorrow. I know the sky is always there but if you ignore something, does it matter that is there?

Tonight, when the sun does finally leave the sky, I will make a point to go outside and look at the stars. I will not look for any particular star, but just look for the beauty inherent in their being. As I look at the stars I will wait, and enjoy the moment.